R

The Pirates Life

Hi the Captain has asked me to talk to the crew and find out how many of you are new to the life of piracy, can I have a show of hands. Hi, hi, welcome aboard our ship The Crimson Scourge of DEATH.
I hope that your new life of killing for plunder is a satisfying one as well as rewarding. We will be boarding the victims ship soon for gutting and plunder.
Because Captain Pippin be below deck right now I thought it might be a good time to tell ya that this being a pirate ship, there are very few rules, but there is one. Don’t make fun of the captains war cry.
Now moving on,…oh what yes Johnson I saw your hand up? Do you have a question? Why don’t make fun of the captains war cry?
Have you meet Incredible Mutilated Joe yet?. What,…no that wasn’t always his nickname, it use to be Pretty Boy.
Oh here comes Captain Pippin now.

Eye lads we be going into battle soon,
And many of you won’t be comin’ back alive,
But for those of you that make it threw the fray,
There be great rewards for your villainous ways.
So are you with me men?
Follow me boys! Ledal ledal llleeeeee!!!!


Shortly afterwards up in heaven Saint Peter gets some new visitors at the pearly gates, some sailors from the plundered ship.

Hi Saint Peter. Ya, ya, we were killed, in a mighty sea battle with pirates.
What…did we put up a good fight? Ya, ya, ya,…ah…no.
What…who were the pirates? They we The Sea Rats of,…ah The Blood Killers,…ah Pippin and his Marry Band.
But it was the war cry that did us in,…so terrifying,…ah so blood curdling…ah stupid ya stupid.
What…well you try to put up a valiant last-ditch stand against pirates when your doubled over in laughter.