It was
a dark and stormy night but that was okay, as I was in a dark mood to begin
with. Not everyone can be a debonair and suave detective. Hey sometimes after
my client’s enemies are through beating me I don't look very suave and debonair
myself.
That's
when my holistic skills come in very handy. It might not be able to win every
case, but if you can heal yourself that's half the battle.
It was
an average Tuesday the kind of Tuesday that makes you want to have another Tuesday
some other day but this wasn't a Tuesday that was going to go away really easy,
that's why I answered the phone even though it wasn't ringing. Hey holistic
skills come in handier than just healing yourself.
I said, “hi Bobby boy how's it going.”
“Holy
baloney Dave I wish you'd stop doing that it really creeps me out.”
Bob
Day was a detective on the force I've been picking up scraps of work from him
for years.
“Dave
we've got a messy one this time I really need your experience.”
“No
can do Bob I've got a full plate today you know it's Tuesday.”
Bob
gave a mirthless chuckle he knew about my Tuesday attitude for years, “You’ll
just have to put your thoughts on the back burner right now, this one's a
little bit messy, three of them and facedown.”
“Crying
out loud Bob can you tell them to play nice?”
“You
know I can't do that, but I can tell you where it went down, meet me there?”
“Sure
Bobby boy be right there.”
“I
haven't told you where it is yet, oh wait a minute I keep
forgetting...Holistic.”
“Holistic,
that's right, meet you down at the docs.
“Ah
you’re slipping this time it's not at the docs.”
“Sure
it is you’re talking about a doctor’s office.”
“Bingo
I thought I got you that time.”
20
minutes past as if it was 20 minutes, but there I was standing in the things
that most men would puke at.
Bob
said, “Should've worn your galoshes there Davey boy.
You’d
think that they would use something less primitive then a box cutter, I mean
it's a doctor's office a little chloroform goes a long way and it wouldn't take
much of any type of drug to make death take hold real good.”
“The
Grim Reaper isn't very fussy there Bob. A little slash here a little slash
there goes a long way.”
Bob
said, “One nurse one assistant and of course the doctor himself lay in there, like
fish.”
“So
when do I get my money for wrapping this case up?”
“Ain't
you jumping the gun a little early about pay?”
“Tell
you what, I'm in a pretty good mood, I'll settle for dinner, but no cheap
stuff.”
Bob
smiled at my good deal when he heard it, “Okay big boy, so how do you know who
did it?”
“Check
the answering machine message 27.”
Bob fumbled with the telephone hitting buttons
like a monkey, but even a monkey gets lucky once in a blue moon. The
speakerphone crackled to life, there as plain as day was Ed Grimly saying and I
quote, “You botched my nose job so bad you might as well taken a box cutter to
My face.”
Long
story short my meal had a nice prize in it.
Ed
grimly got the death penalty…well he got life…well he got rehabilitation…well
he got a good talking to… well he got a really big fine…well the taxpayers paid
it for him… Well the taxpayers got sued for 8 million each for not paying the
fine quick enough.
THE
END
