Dave Drake Holistic Detective

It was a dark and stormy night but that was okay, as I was in a dark mood to begin with. Not everyone can be a debonair and suave detective. Hey sometimes after my client’s enemies are through beating me I don't look very suave and debonair myself.

 
That's when my holistic skills come in very handy. It might not be able to win every case, but if you can heal yourself that's half the battle.

It was an average Tuesday the kind of Tuesday that makes you want to have another Tuesday some other day but this wasn't a Tuesday that was going to go away really easy, that's why I answered the phone even though it wasn't ringing. Hey holistic skills come in handier than just healing yourself.

I said, “hi Bobby boy how's it going.”

“Holy baloney Dave I wish you'd stop doing that it really creeps me out.”

Bob Day was a detective on the force I've been picking up scraps of work from him for years.

“Dave we've got a messy one this time I really need your experience.”

“No can do Bob I've got a full plate today you know it's Tuesday.”

Bob gave a mirthless chuckle he knew about my Tuesday attitude for years, “You’ll just have to put your thoughts on the back burner right now, this one's a little bit messy, three of them and facedown.”

“Crying out loud Bob can you tell them to play nice?”

“You know I can't do that, but I can tell you where it went down, meet me there?”

“Sure Bobby boy be right there.”

“I haven't told you where it is yet, oh wait a minute I keep forgetting...Holistic.”

“Holistic, that's right, meet you down at the docs.

“Ah you’re slipping this time it's not at the docs.”

“Sure it is you’re talking about a doctor’s office.”

“Bingo I thought I got you that time.”

 

20 minutes past as if it was 20 minutes, but there I was standing in the things that most men would puke at.

Bob said, “Should've worn your galoshes there Davey boy.

You’d think that they would use something less primitive then a box cutter, I mean it's a doctor's office a little chloroform goes a long way and it wouldn't take much of any type of drug to make death take hold real good.”

“The Grim Reaper isn't very fussy there Bob. A little slash here a little slash there goes a long way.”

Bob said, “One nurse one assistant and of course the doctor himself lay in there, like fish.”

“So when do I get my money for wrapping this case up?”

“Ain't you jumping the gun a little early about pay?”

“Tell you what, I'm in a pretty good mood, I'll settle for dinner, but no cheap stuff.”

Bob smiled at my good deal when he heard it, “Okay big boy, so how do you know who did it?”

“Check the answering machine message 27.”

 Bob fumbled with the telephone hitting buttons like a monkey, but even a monkey gets lucky once in a blue moon. The speakerphone crackled to life, there as plain as day was Ed Grimly saying and I quote, “You botched my nose job so bad you might as well taken a box cutter to My face.”

Long story short my meal had a nice prize in it.

 

Ed grimly got the death penalty…well he got life…well he got rehabilitation…well he got a good talking to… well he got a really big fine…well the taxpayers paid it for him… Well the taxpayers got sued for 8 million each for not paying the fine quick enough.

THE END