The Grackle

I saw a common grackle today. Apparently they are abundant in residential areas.

Grackles are handsome, kind of like me, but I digress.

Its voice is a high ascending screech that seems to match me yet again.

Habitat: open wetlands, parks, gardens, and lawns, it differs from me now I'm usually around the refrigerator.

Range: breeds east of Rockies, let’s not go there…

The thought processes of Mr. ZZ a.k.a. Lord ZZ

I once was a deep thinker but I gave it up for Lent. Now I only think when talked to. Sometimes I settle just for a vacant stare with a little bit of dribble on my chin.

A Blither For My Blog.

Sadly new technology has made it much easier for me to write things for my blog. I am now the proud owner of Dragon natural speech software. I'm no longer limited by my bad spelling or my lack of interesting things to say because it's just too hard to type.

Now my verbiage will increase in leaps and bounds. However what I have to say will be rather aimless and pointless. Now when my daughter enters my realm (otherwise known as the living room) you'll read, “Can you change the channel on the TV” for I’ll be too lazy to edit it out of what I'm writing.

The Fourth Crash Of My Computer

My computer has died yet again and gone off to that lovely land of Texas to visit the technical support department that loves to re-issue re-boot re-everything. I often wish that the technicians would send me a postcard with the computer when it comes back, but this has yet to happen.

So with hesitant hands that linger over the keyboard desperately trying to think if they should really touch this thing or not? I finally end my vacillation and let my hands drop gingerly touching the keys expecting maybe sparks or some kind of new unpleasant thing.

 This is my computer's last trip to that magical land of Texas. For the warrantee is in a flawlessly dead state after one year. Thankfully knowing that the next time it dies it will be a death worthy of its status in my life. It will probably be given to a dung heap for its approval…only to be rejected. I mean even dung heaps have their standards.

An eatable tuber made to look more evolved.

Mr. Potato Head…On Mars

Ct. removes its death penalty.

More Copyright Problems

I found this picture in the trash. 

I didn’t draw it.

I don’t know who did.

This might even violate child labor laws?

Shameless Self Promotion

Famous Fails #37

Germs

They like me and I make them a good meal.
I like to introduce them to my friends and family. 
When you get them yourself, just tell them I said Hi.

Copyright problems

My Daughter ZZ started a picture

of a stuffed toy Bill the cat holding a toy microphone.

She didn’t like it so I finished it. 

This is not my drawing, it is not my cartoon character, and the toy microphone is probably copy protected as well.

But it is actually a still life of someone else’s art. 

Says Ah Me St.

Ah... Ok?

Have a merry squeakmas

Mr. Z.Z. “The Tolerated”

It is now the New Year and my computer has come back from its third repair trip to Texas (under warranty).  It still doesn’t like the touch of flesh on its keyboard, but …  well it is in my house and I wait for it to pine for Texas once again.

King

Alien And Dog

How does Mr. ZZ cartoon?

Artist Pen

Art Markers

Art Markers And Colored Pencil

Computer

My Computer Hates

My Computer hates flesh to touch it.

New Computer under a year old

Freezes can't reload Windows 7

Sent to Texas to have worked on

Comes home works two weeks

Back to Texas to have fixed

Comes home DVD Drive dead

?

Screwy Rabbit

Song to Tinny Dancer (with a poor Elmer Fudd voice)

 Little rabbit   Screwy rabbit

I’m hunting you down a hole

I just blast down   A hole in the ground

Soon you’ll be saying what’s up doc

Leaning on my shoulder   As my gun does smolders

I’m a rabbit hunting man

But soon I see   You’re a bunny

So I aim my gun at you

But you stick your thumb   In the end of my gun
Now my face is powder burned

O but now what do I see   Standing right in front of me
A sexy   sexy   lady

She bats her eyes   and at me smiles
I know it’s you but I play dumb

But this is nice   So throw the rice

I guess bestialities for me

O but now what do I see   Standing right in front of me
A sexy   sexy   lady

Daugher ZZ 4

Im in love with you but...

A song on guitar by Mr.ZZ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2fN6g7vNbw

Mr. ZZ & Daughter ZZ 2011 3

Mr. ZZ & Daughter ZZ 2011 2

Mr. ZZ & Daughter ZZ 2011 1

The Bad Sermon

Creep

Envy

Not everything I do is great.

That's why I envy pros.

But pros are bad at something else.

Therefore we're all perfectly bad at something.

What I think when I walk by

When a girl wants to shake a guys hand...

What is she selling?

Hi R.J.:

Daughter ZZ here. You sent Father ZZ a bottle neck slide as a gift and he uses it on his ukulele all the time.
I've...been...ripping...out...my...hair!
Thanks heaps!

Dashtic Picks the Winner

Thank you for your entry. You didn't win. Here is the one that lost.

We showed it to management and they want to sue you.

To the person that made the entry we say, "Don't worry, we told them we'd get right on it..."

Doctors

Doctors have the ability to make you feel guilty about everything."What you drink tap water? Ya might as well put a loaded gun in your mouth!"

Doctors gravitate towards the most embarrassing parts of you, with cold hands.

Doctors will ask you what insurance you have, but don't like it if you ask what insurance they have.

Doctors love you to fill out forms so they can throw them in the pile with the other patient's forms.

Doctors like you to lose weight, but wont tell you how.

Doctors are never ever done with you. You will always have a follow up appointment.

Doctors like you to leave work to see them, so you make less money to pay your fee.

You will see more of the waiting room then the Doctor.

Doctors could easily give you your shot in the arm, but your butt is much more fun.

New Slogan Contest

Dashtic Enterprises is unveiling our new logo and slogan. So we decided to have a contest to pick our new slogan which will be the one above. But don’t let that stop you from entering!

Some of our past winners have been.

For when you absolutely have to.

We’re more than them we’re us.

We ought to be there…just look.

Tomorrow today give or take an hour.

And of course this year’s winner!

We’re a local company if you live here.

Good luck and you can enter as many times as you like.

P.S. that is not a copy right symbol under our name, but a P being held up by a stick inside a plastic bubble.

Practice makes perfect

You might find it hard to believe, but I touched this shot up.

Hair Club For Martians

Why be bald and Green

When you can sport that new do.

Bad Advice

Traffic Signs

Sure we all know But do you know
The Flying Saucers sign,
Or

The Kings Crosswalk

King Kong at Stonehenge

Many people don’t believe in Stonehenge, but here’s
proof.

This early photograph clearly shows young King Kong on
a field trip to Stonehenge.

You can plainly see his visitors pass bracelet.

Robotic Projectile Spew

You call that art?

Who came up with that?

By Misty Sky 2011

Ya know in hindsight, that's pretty good art.

Mr. ZZ's Technical Training University

Do you love your landline?

Can you say, “Can I help you?”

Do you have $3500 Dollars?

Well!

The field of communication needs you!

Oops

I sometimes find spelling mistakes in my old blog entries and dutifully fix them.

Lately though I have found that if I change spelling and grammar on an entry I get my paragraphs merged into one block of type.

So in long entries like “The Hank Keene Show” the poor English will remain.

So enjoy my :

wan’t not want or

will not we’ll

or even my

donates not donuts

Rant number 78 by Chief Oaf

Nothing can be turned off anymore. No longer are there switches which actually disconnect the power. Instead, pressing the "Off" button just puts the television or cell phone to sleep, simulating a state of "offishness". But the gadget is not really off. It sits there listening to everything going on around it, running it's little programs, plotting and calculating, waiting for the signal to pretend to be "on" again.

You can always pull the plug. But they hate it when you do that. When you plug them back in they yell and blink at you. They get cranky and make your life miserable so that you won't do that again. And, sometimes they are still alive even when you pull the plug. They shut down their life support systems to a bare minimum and grimly wait you out. I think the switches should have four positions: ON, OFF, VERY OFF, and DEAD AS A DOORNAIL. That way you have a little more say in the matter.

Also I want a helicopter in my garage.

+++++++++++

In reply to: Rant number 78I know what you mean. It use to be when you turned something on a little red LED would come on to tell you that it was on. Know a little red LED comes on to tell you that it is off. I have a sub woofer with an amp in it. You can’t turn it off. Only if it decides your not using it will it turn off. So I randomly hear it go thump to tell me that it’s done with me.

Fortune Cookies

Hymn

Hay!

“Hay, Daughter ZZ what should I draw. “

“How about a fairy playing a musical instrument?”

“Ok I'll give it a go!”

*Scratch scratch scribble scribble *

“There done, what do ya think?”

“Your heart just wasn’t in it was it Dad.”

“…Ya.”

Truueee! Art Mwa!

Art is subjective at best.

I find pretty girls that smile are very good artists.

But Girls that smile at richer men are better artists.