Merry Christmas

We got our tree up a little late this year, but it was well worth the wait.

Outsourcing

I would like sports teams to be outsourced to India. It would make for lower ticket prices. The players when their not playing could sell food in the bleachers rather then just sit on some bench.

But why stop there. We could outsource the government as well and send it to India. We would be able to turn all the government buildings into condominiums.

Any business that outsourced would by law have all their management sent to India to live in their factories, so they can make sure that the business is run right.

Let’s outsource the military as well. It will be cheaper and if someone is missing in action most likely no one in the U.S. will know them.

Guru

I went to a Guru to find knowledge and he said many a wondrous thing that I quickly forgot, but what I did take away was this.

“It’s awful hard to sleep in the same bed with someone who’s making bed angels.”

I did try to dazzle him with a sagely statement so that he would find me a true seeker rather then a trifler in the land of knowledge. I quoted a greeting card that I had found at a Seven Eleven. I said, “Learning to access my true self and my oneness with all things allows me to love.” I then looked down at the ground for a small amount of time for dramatic effect and slowly looked up. When our eyes finally meet he said, “So what touchy feely universe are you from?”

Game Machines

I went to the store and saw that Nintendo came out with a new system called the Wii.

I ran to the video game rack to see if they still had games for my old Nintendo. Oh no, not a single game was for sale there.

Oh great now my game machine is out of date.