Mr ZZ and Frog Porn

How nice it would be to be a frog, for porn would be a less shameful thing. Books, magazines, and PG Movies could hereafter show egg clumped together in high grass to their hearts content. Center folds of big round eggs, dreamy music videos with lots and lots of high grass in small ponds with their frog eggs on a fly filled evening. But you could never call another guy a good well you know.

Mr ZZ and the Big Bang Theory

The big bang is much like eating too much pie with a shovel. When it becomes so compressed that it no longer can be contained under such pressure you in a metaphorical way create a new universe, if not a messier one. However I take exception to it being called the big bang for if space is a vacuum, no noise would be made. Though with that much volume you still might get a vvvooop or something smaller, for such a fast expanse of material. However why is it called the big bang theory? With all the gases that would be released from such a re-conflagration why not call it the big toot?

Me Me Me

I had made longer versions of two of the subjects in the about me section that the 150 word minimum would not allow. So here they are:

About Me I made a dark wager with a man in black to explain why I have teeth? He said to eat my son and when your eating remember never eat anything bigger then your head. And that is why to this very day I always think of stuff while I am eating and not those annoying kids in the other booth.

You’re trapped in a well with a goat and a slinky. Describe how you will escape. Wow! A goat and a slinky! Why on earth would I want to escape? But if I had to escape I would say to the goat,” I want to go home now and watch the radio.” Most goats would not get it but not this goat he would start to laugh and this would break the tension. We would then step out of the well for we would find that it was very shallow. We would both go or own ways, but no one would ever see the slinky again.

I’m Gonna Ride The Bus
[G]
[G] I’m gonna [C] ride the [G] bus.
[C] I’m gonna get my [D] backpack on.
[G] I’m gonna [C] ride the [G] bus.
[C] Now that time is comin’ [D] on.

[C] Our neighbors in the [D] driveway al- [G] ready,
[C] I can’t [D] wait to go out and [C] pl- [G] ay.
[C] And keep a [D] snowball [G] handy,
[C] Before it [D] comes we gonna [G] play.

[G] I get to [C] ride the [G] bus.
[C] I get to put my [D] backpack on.
[G] I get to [C] ride the [G] bus.
[C] Now that time is [D] comin’ on.

[C] Playin’ while ya [D] wait is [G] handy,
[C] Even if [D] school is a [C] sno- [G] oze
[C] And playin’ [D] games is [G] dandy
[C] Even if [D] sometimes ya [G] loose

[G] I’m gonna [C] ride the [G] bus.
[C] I’m gonna get my [D] backpack on.
[G] I’m gonna [C] ride the [G] bus.
[C] Now that time is comin’ [D] on.

[G] I’m gonna [C] ride the
[G] I’m gonna [C] ride the
[G] I’m gonna [C] ride the [G] bus


Mr.ZZ 2005