Peking Duck

Dad you can’t put that on the blog!
Why?
It’s just not politically correct.
Ok then how about this?

Dad you just don’t get it, you’re making a stereotype.
You mean it’s derogatory?!
Yes!
But, it was just a joke about a Chinese menu item. You know Peking Duck.
That’s just not right!
Ducks don’t have teeth, but Donald Duck is drawn with teeth when he’s mad. So that must be politically incorrect too.
How so?
It’s a stereotype on people that states we show our teeth when were mad.
But, that’s not picking on one race.
That’s what makes it so bad it’s a blanket generalization.
But that’s ok, just as long as you don’t pick on just one culture.
Ok then, please don’t look at this post everyone.
Dad you have to remove it!
But I’m making a blanket generalization that people are smart enough to not look at this post.
But, dad you can’t think everyone is going to not look at this post.
Now who’s being politically incorrect. Daughter, I’m ashamed of you.
And I you.

Oh Boy

Daughter ZZ drew this “like totally cute” guy.
She’s not boy crazy, but I’m a dad and have, hate boys syndrome.
My dad told me when I was dating that no one was good enough for someone else’s daughter, at the time I laughed, but you know, he was right.

Psychic

For every great psychic that can foretell grand and amazing things there must also be a psychic with lesser grand predictions.

For every Edgar Cayce, there must be someone with the ability to tell you what cartoon Nick will show next without any hints.

For every Nostradamus, there must also be someone that can tell you when your butt will itch next.

You have reached the iiiitchy Butt Psychic. Oh no don’t say a word Tuesday at 2, Okay Bye.
Yes, hello, you have reached the iiiitchy Butt Psychic. Oh…oh my no, don’t go to church this Sunday. I foresee a fifteen in a row doozy, Okay Bye.
Yes, hello…oh man. You gonna have a deep one, might want to cancel that date. Oh boy, I pity you.

Another grand product of my imagination is the Birdie Turdie Psychic (which sounds funnier with a cheesy fake Swedish accent).
Jes, hellooooo, you have reached Da Birdieee Turdie Psychic. Oh 5:30, have umbrella ready, biiig umbrella
Jes, hellooooo, O you better stay inside today, or you be as white as snowman.
Jes, hellooooo, ohhh, I see da great Moby Pigeon. You might wanna say your prayers NOW.

Sadly I don’t have any psychic abilities, other than knowing when I’m hungry. Oh, I foresee a cheese sandwich at lunch today.