Doctors

Doctors have the ability to make you feel guilty about everything."What you drink tap water? Ya might as well put a loaded gun in your mouth!"

Doctors gravitate towards the most embarrassing parts of you, with cold hands.

Doctors will ask you what insurance you have, but don't like it if you ask what insurance they have.

Doctors love you to fill out forms so they can throw them in the pile with the other patient's forms.

Doctors like you to lose weight, but wont tell you how.

Doctors are never ever done with you. You will always have a follow up appointment.

Doctors like you to leave work to see them, so you make less money to pay your fee.

You will see more of the waiting room then the Doctor.

Doctors could easily give you your shot in the arm, but your butt is much more fun.

New Slogan Contest

Dashtic Enterprises is unveiling our new logo and slogan. So we decided to have a contest to pick our new slogan which will be the one above. But don’t let that stop you from entering!

Some of our past winners have been.

For when you absolutely have to.

We’re more than them we’re us.

We ought to be there…just look.

Tomorrow today give or take an hour.

And of course this year’s winner!

We’re a local company if you live here.

Good luck and you can enter as many times as you like.

P.S. that is not a copy right symbol under our name, but a P being held up by a stick inside a plastic bubble.

Practice makes perfect

You might find it hard to believe, but I touched this shot up.

Hair Club For Martians

Why be bald and Green

When you can sport that new do.

Bad Advice

Traffic Signs

Sure we all know But do you know
The Flying Saucers sign,
Or

The Kings Crosswalk

King Kong at Stonehenge

Many people don’t believe in Stonehenge, but here’s
proof.

This early photograph clearly shows young King Kong on
a field trip to Stonehenge.

You can plainly see his visitors pass bracelet.

Robotic Projectile Spew

You call that art?

Who came up with that?

By Misty Sky 2011

Ya know in hindsight, that's pretty good art.

Mr. ZZ's Technical Training University

Do you love your landline?

Can you say, “Can I help you?”

Do you have $3500 Dollars?

Well!

The field of communication needs you!

Oops

I sometimes find spelling mistakes in my old blog entries and dutifully fix them.

Lately though I have found that if I change spelling and grammar on an entry I get my paragraphs merged into one block of type.

So in long entries like “The Hank Keene Show” the poor English will remain.

So enjoy my :

wan’t not want or

will not we’ll

or even my

donates not donuts

Rant number 78 by Chief Oaf

Nothing can be turned off anymore. No longer are there switches which actually disconnect the power. Instead, pressing the "Off" button just puts the television or cell phone to sleep, simulating a state of "offishness". But the gadget is not really off. It sits there listening to everything going on around it, running it's little programs, plotting and calculating, waiting for the signal to pretend to be "on" again.

You can always pull the plug. But they hate it when you do that. When you plug them back in they yell and blink at you. They get cranky and make your life miserable so that you won't do that again. And, sometimes they are still alive even when you pull the plug. They shut down their life support systems to a bare minimum and grimly wait you out. I think the switches should have four positions: ON, OFF, VERY OFF, and DEAD AS A DOORNAIL. That way you have a little more say in the matter.

Also I want a helicopter in my garage.

+++++++++++

In reply to: Rant number 78I know what you mean. It use to be when you turned something on a little red LED would come on to tell you that it was on. Know a little red LED comes on to tell you that it is off. I have a sub woofer with an amp in it. You can’t turn it off. Only if it decides your not using it will it turn off. So I randomly hear it go thump to tell me that it’s done with me.

Fortune Cookies

Hymn

Hay!

“Hay, Daughter ZZ what should I draw. “

“How about a fairy playing a musical instrument?”

“Ok I'll give it a go!”

*Scratch scratch scribble scribble *

“There done, what do ya think?”

“Your heart just wasn’t in it was it Dad.”

“…Ya.”

Truueee! Art Mwa!

Art is subjective at best.

I find pretty girls that smile are very good artists.

But Girls that smile at richer men are better artists.

Troll doll

Dreams

Some dream of flying.
I dream of falling from a great height…

after being hit by a heavenly flyswatter.

X

Zippy

Ying and Yang

Happy people are drawn to sad people to make them feel bad about not being happy.
Sad people are drawn to happy people to make them feel bad about not being sad.
Both put great value on guilt.
Therefore guilt is the most reasonable response to life.

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P.S.
We got a new cat.