Where I say what other people said...but better...I think

When you've had double stuffed Oreos there's NO going back

I love you WAY to much to tell you the truth.

This is not a quote, remember I said two quotes, why are you reading this?

Stop it!







Ok, this time I mean it, STOP IT!

Response to tap tap, tap tap

Thank you for putting it under your pillow.

Dear Daughter ZZ:
Can you please describe the philosophy of Objectivism.

Objectivism is the tendency, to deal with things external with the mind rather than with opinions or feelings. If this philosophy makes you happy you’re already not using the philosophy.

Response

Remember; put it under your pillow. I don't answer tapped glass ^_^

tap tap, tap tap

Daughter ZZ, are you in there?

Wow !!!!!!

Coming soon to this blog will be Ask Daughter ZZ. Knowing how shy most of our readers are we will be using telepathy to find your questions. So write them down on paper and put them under your pillow at night and we will get back to you (if we deem you worthy).

Should I have a baby?

....Ok look at this way....

get a bag bleached flour
tape it to your stomach
develop a random craving for pickles
after eight or nine months while gently removing the flour sack imagine passing a whole watermelon
draw a face on your "new baby" ...a convincing one...
give it a name
now set your alarm to go off randomly 3 to 4 times a night
for added measure make a recording of a baby screaming its little lungs out for no particular reason
cancel all your leisure activities and replace them with: feed it, change it, make it laugh, (which may in fact be easier to do than it would in reality)

!and teach it to walk! (Of course you won’t be able too, but keep saying were did I go wrong?)

after 2 years
start walking around your house saying no... no... no! put that down!

Fast-food restaurants

I remember when fast-food was just that, fast-food. You got your burger as you paid.

Now, you order a number 1 to “save time” and are bombarded with questions. Do you want cheese on that? Do you want to supper size it? For here or to go? Order for 4 and you will be asked all the questions again, for each.

Let’s not forget while you pay, would you like to give a dollar to the “some fund you’ve never heard of?”

Now, Receipt in hand we head to the waiting cluster. You know, all the people who don’t just TAKE their order. Saying “can I have ANOTHER ketchup packet, what did you say, this is cold, *cell phone rings* oh hold on a minute. Yes bob I’m in line now. No yours doesn’t have any pickles, Yes I know your deathly allergic. *looks over at the cashier* Bob’s deathly allergic to pickles. Let's put it this way…the hand will NEVER touch the bag.

Remember when fast-food was oh I don’t know, fast.

Hay, I Got A Million Of Them!

Pop singers train for years and years to only be popular for 6 months.

It’s hard to separate a boy from his dog especially if it’s got a good bite on him.

Coffee can’t possibly be addictive if I gotta have it so bad.

How do you get a baby to stick to the wall? Speeeeed.

To be or not to be, hay! That’s a question.

I heard fast-food restaurants are going to sell soup for senior citizens. Yeah! Alphabet soup…in LARGE PRINT.

Vocab

Isn’t it kind of risky to use one’s entire vocabulary in one sentence?

Poo

To throw your poo or not to throw your poo That is the question.

Merry Quackmes

Let heaven and nature sing,

Merry???

If you’re offended when someone wishes you a “Merry Christmas”, don’t worry, it’s just YTD.

“YuleTide Discomfort”

Review of Elephant Having a Heart Attack "The Movie!"

I found it heartwarming and up-beat. I also appreciated the total lack of subliminal messages, althought I did miss a few minutes of the movie when I went to the concession stand to buy some tall grass to appease my sudden hunger.

******************************************************************

From the desk of Big Hairy Deal

Elephant Having a Heart Attack "The Movie!"

Definition of a:

Deist

God created the universe, but his cell phone is always off.

***

Atheist
Sleeps in on Sunday.
***
Polytheist
Ene mene mini mo.
***
Christian
Ya know, you look like your Dad.

Blog Extra

Just about every DVD I buy has useless bonus stuff on it. So here is my blog equivalent:
The making of “Elephant Having A Heart Attack”.

******

Elephant

How is your life like a test?

The answers you like are always wrong.

How do you know you’re getting old?

Your bladder thinks your there before you are.